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Eight
Pages of fans worst movies they have seen
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John
Howard Oxley
In
specifying five particularly bad movies, the selection has
been restricted to those considered for theatrical release,
as opposed to B-movies or camp classics. Within these limits,
here are five particularly egregious specimens of codswallop
at its most intense:
1.
Sledge: a knockoff 'spaghetti western' staring the inimitable
[who would bother] James Garner in a pointless, boring, inchoate
mess with neither storytelling logic, a convincing plot, good
stuntwork, any humour whatsoever, or any other quality which
can redeem a movie. This became the standard against which
all other movies were rated, and I have never seen worse.
2.
Night of the Following Day: Marlon Brando admittedly was
showcased in some prime turkeys, but this one constitutes
an entire flock, and even his role here was pallid and uninspired.
Supposedly a kidnapping thriller, a complete lack of continuity
[it appears in some cases as if sequences were edited out
of order] renders it an excruciating waste of time.
3.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me: One of the few
times I was *strongly* tempted to leave the theatre while
the movie was playing [the "Fat Bastard" sequences are toilet
humour at its least engaging], and I would have given in to
the impulse were it not that I had a companion attending with
me, who admitted afterward having exactly the same sentiments,
but who did not want to leave because I was making no effort
to do so!
4.
-if...:
Many of my friends waxed lyrical over this incomprehensible
mess, as did the critics. The movie made no sense to me then,
and still does not now. In terms of pretentiousness, this
has to be the worst of all five of these selections.
5.
Water World: The worst insult to the intelligence of an
audience I have ever witnessed personally, a movie with so
many shortcomings that to get the whole gist of why I think
it is bad, you should read my review.
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