Cast
Luc Devreaux (Jean-Claude Van Damme)
Seth (Michael Jai White)
Erin (Heidi Schanz)
Romeo (Bill Goldberg)
Dylan (Xander Berkeley)
Maggie (Kiana Tom)
Directed by Mic Rodgers Written by William Malone and John
Fasand
Rated R for graphic violence, language, intense action sequences,
and nudity Running Time: 89 minutes Distributed by Sony
Universal
Soldier: The Return is a weak action film that has many corny
moments. The film is a sequel to the 1992 action hit Universal
Soldier in which Luc Devreaux (Van Damme) has survived and
recovered from the experiences as a universal soldier. Universal
soldiers are genetically enhanced killing machines that are
financed by the government. Luc now works for the government
as a training expert on a project to improve the universal
soldiers. The computer that controls the soldiers, S. E. T.
H. (White), learns that the government has decided to shut
down the program. This governmental decision leads S. E. T.
H to go haywire and ordering the soldiers on a mission to
take over the world. Now Luc is the only one who can defeat
the elite universal soldiers and save the world.
Universal
Soldier: The Return is similar to those terrible action movies
that are sent straight to video. Examples are all the ones
that star either Brian Bosworth or Lorenzo Llamas. The first
Universal Soldier film was not near as bad as this one; in
fact, I found the first one to be an o.k. movie. It just seemed
that this sequel was just thrown together at the last moment
because there is absolutely no consistency or sequencing in
the film.
The
script contains desperate cheesy elements and bad dialogue.
An example of one the bad elements is S. E. T. H., the supercomputer
that controls the soldiers. S. E. T. H. is a huge glass ball
on the wall that turns different colors to show its emotions.
When S. E. T. H. finds a human body and switches into it thorough
the computer, it's just dumb. The dialogue is very bland,
and the lines in the film are so awful that I was laughing
at almost each one said by the hero Luc.
The
acting in Universal Soldier: The Return is also bad. However,
you don’t have great acting for action film to work, but too
many other weak areas hurt this film. Professional wrestler
Bill Goldberg did make his on-screen debut in Universal Soldier:
The Return. Goldberg played a hot-tempered universal soldier
named Romeo. I don't like the concept of athletes trying to
act, because they usually can't. Goldberg's name can be added
to the long list of wanna-be actor-athletes that have failed,
including Shaquille O'Neal, Howie Long, and a name I mentioned
earlier, Brian Bosworth.
I
don't like action films that don't have a real purpose besides
violence and explosions. I also do not care too much for Van
Damme movies. I did enjoy some of his earlier work like Bloodsport,
Death Warrant, and the original Universal Soldier. However,
Van Damme has not delivered a good movie in years. I do believe
that if you are a visual action movie fan and Van Damme fan
that you might enjoy this film. I just thought that this movie
was corny, but it will probably please audiences that like
the medium and content that Universal Soldier: The Return
falls under.
Report
Card Grade: D-
Beastman's
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