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Speaking Directly  

A Film by Jon Jost

I would like to pose two questions about this movie which is possibly the worst ever in the history of cinema.

Question one: If an avowedly experimental film maker goes off to spend the summer in an isolated forest lodge with his chums making an experimental film about being an experimental film maker spending the summer in an isolated forest lodge with his chums etc, just how far up his own arse can said experimental film maker get?

Question two: (for the lads) If you were going to sit on a chair and be filmed masturbating while talking about the significance of life, the universe and being an experimental film maker who happens to be sitting on a chair etc, what would you try to think about in order to achieve an erection?

I'm not that good at "the female point of view" so I cannot really come up with a question that would address the state of mind of the girlfriend of an experimental film maker sitting on a chair being filmed masturbating while talking about the significance of life, the universe and being the girlfriend of an experimental film maker. For that, I can only appologise.

DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM WITH YOUR MOTHER.

Actually, I'd not even recommend watching it with your goldfish. This film is best viewed with the sound turned down and without your glasses. If you don't wear glasses, try it with the sound turned down and wearing your mothers glasses. (That will also be a lot better for your mother and you do love your mother don't you?) I save the rating of zero out of ten for those films that are so bad that I am confident that I will never encounter a worse film so this movie gets a solid zero out of ten with my full blessing.

jpoc

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