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Movie Reviews


1997 86 mins Starring Mitch Pileggi

Set in the small Alaskan town of Burly Pines. Our hero Jim is an entemologist (studies insects) & published author of 'bug' books, from L.A.

He hooks up with a chopper pilot friend who flies them north to Alaska for some fishing. After arriving at a lake several hours of fishing produce no joy - strange - during previous weeks "salmon were jumping onto your line". Our intrepid duo get fed up and decide to return to town for some nosebag. On the way to the chopper they encounter two hunters who are searching for a recently shot moose (huge deer type animal - not a wee scottish rodent). When the four of them find the moose it has been stripped of all flesh and organs.

All this has happened in a very short space of time. Stranger still. Our twosome fly to a local store to find out if anyone knows what could have done this. No-one is in store and after searching they find the owner Murdock in a back room. He also has ben stripped of flesh but is still fully clothed. Even stranger still. The local Sherriff is called and he is also baffled. The body is taken to town and on closer examination Jim finds parts of an ant embedded in the skull of the dead Murdock. Weird.

With the help of the local teacher (love interest, pretty but a total bimbo who states the obvious at every opportunity) they deduce the body parts belong to a Marabunta - A KILLER ANT - These are native to South America but have infiltrated Alaska on a cargo of acacia wood shed from an off course ship ten years earlier. They gather and breed and attack in ten year cycles.

How convenient our bug expert chose to go fishing here exactly ten years after they are washed ashore. Meantime a newly married couple touring Alaska stop to take some photos. On looking for a suitable spot they come across a huge structure rising from the ground. They do not have a clue what it is but decide it would look good if the girl climbs atop and he shoots a few frames. Up she goes and on reaching the top she slips and falls into the centre where the ants are licking their lips in anticipation. Her beloved tries to rescue her but the ants fancy seconds, Bye bye.

ANTS 3 HUMANS 0 (even I knew it was an anthill).

Several more "gruesome" deaths later our hero manages to convince the Sheriff to evacuate the town. It did take his Deputy's little brother being killed to finally sway him. Everyone leaves except one stubborn resident. Guess what.


Only people left in town are Jim, bimbo teacher, Sheriff and his son (a right pain - tell him not to do it and he does it) They all have a miraculous ability to see the ants over vast distances even though they are tiny. How ??.

One solution is to kill the Queen, this disorientates her workers and makes them easier to kill. She can't be found - what a surprise.

After several other vain attempts to halt their progress someone comes up with the answer. Why not blow the dam and drown them. Easy. Town will be flooded but what the heck !!

I won't spoil the ending - if you can manage to last that long. This is a dreadful film. Stunts and special effects are abysmal, the actors are awful and the script is horrendous. Everyone states the obvious, a muppet could have written this.

I have had more excitement picking up dog doo from the garden with a pooper scooper. This storyline has been done before and oh soooo much better. It is a load of rubbish. A total ANTY-CLIMAX (sorry).

Roll on the next ten years until the ants regroup and we can enjoy again.


Morvy Babe

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