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Movie Reviews

3000 Miles To Graceland  

All the chips were in place to have this be a cool action movie. There was Elvis, Vegas, guns, babes, bank robbers and a classic Cadillac. If you are making an action movie and you have all this stuff to work with there should be no excuse for turning out a crappy movie. Well it looks like the filmmakers of 3000 miles to Graceland have no excuse for this one. From the opening credits, I knew I was in trouble. They had two animated metal robot scorpions fighting it out with each other this is supposed to be symbolic of what happens later in the film but it feels out of place and wrong for this film. The film starts up and we see then show five ex-cons getting together a sleazy rundown hotel outside of Las Vegas. The plan is to rob the Riviera Casino during Elvis week, and what better disguise to wear at Elvis week then that of the King. After the obligatory "get dressed scene" The five guys march right in to the Casino break out the guns and the heist is on.

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At this point, the film still has half a chance at being a decent action flick. Unfortunately it quickly becomes real stupid real fast. After walking through the casino floor, they pick one door lock and they are in the money room. No vaults, no cages, no buzzer doors and no armed guards. Nobody bats an eyelash about them picking the lock to the door in the money room. They grab the cash and as they are escaping a guard sees them and pulls a gun. This cues up the obligatory gunfight. Now forgive me if I am wrong but one would expect a movie using Elvis as a backdrop would have a kick ass rock-n-roll soundtrack to push the action scenes along. Sorry. When the gunfight starts what do we get? A techno hip hop soundtrack that is right out of the Matrix or the X-men. Yeah, that's real Elvislike. Add that to the over bloody gunfight scene with cliché MTV style edits and quirky camera angles and slow motion effects that are so over used they actually make the scene boring instead of exciting. What you finally end up with is a loud dull fight scene that is poorly scored. The rest of the action sequences are filmed in the same style as well.

The plot gets more retarded as the five men Elvis team starts to cross one another in an attempt to steal the money until two are left. So what was advertised as a caper flick, has now become a good Elvis vs a bad Elvis film. Even that wouldn't be a bad thing but the story is a mess. There are scenes thrown in to the film that are there just to be hip or cool that have nothing to do with the story. They are neither hip nor cool. I was restless for most of this movie waiting for something to happen. It's an action movie and I was BORED.

The actors in this film don't help matters much. Kevin Costner who just started a comeback with 13 days shoots himself in the foot playing the evil Elvis impersonator. He is so over the top it's ridiculous. Kurt Russell, who previously played Elvis, should be ashamed at the disservice that he does to the King by staring in this film. Kevin Pollack and the guy who played Lowell from the bad TV show Wings play US marshals involved at tracking them down. They are ridiculously unbelievable as cops. Ice T is introduced 2 minutes before the climax of the film. This allows him to run around the film for about 5 minutes so he can kill 30 police officers. Courtney Cox, Christian Slater, Jon Lovitz, and David Arquette are all equally charmless and forgettable in this.

What it boils down to is this. If you are going to use Elvis as a central theme for your movie then have the movie reflect the coolness and hipness that is Elvis. 3000 Miles from Graceland is like everything opposite of Elvis. Slow, un-hip, unfunny, overviolent and un cool. It feels as if you are watching a big loud two hour music video which shouldn't be a surprise because that's the only thing on the directors resume when I looked them up. Stay far away from this hunka hunka burning crap. On a one to ten, it gets a four.

Paul Ferris
Wheel Deal Review

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